Oh the shame

It’s just a name, right?

This might be a very uncomfortable topic to talk about. If you are squeamish then read no more. But if you are curious as to why I was given this bizarre name then read on. Why kids insist on giving you names that you only hope they do not repeat in public. Not every one is blessed with regular toilet motion. I wish I could go everyday but I am lucky if it is every other day. Not happening. So when I do finally go, I very rarely, well sometimes I clog up the toilet. It is very unpleasant. Being discrete so the kids don’t find out is my main objective. In my failure to unclog the toilet they are faced with the evidence that I have huge problem that can not be flushed away.

“You need to go every day”

“Twice a day”

They scream between fits of laughter. I am horrified and embarrassed but even more so, for the times that I have had to call the plumber out.

“There is something wrong with the toilet” I implied.

“These eco toilets are no good, the pipes too small” said the plumber.

“More like the poop is too big” My youngest whispers.

After the third time the plumber was called out, he was no longer convinced that the toilet was to blame. I hung my head in shame and accepted that I had a problem and grudgingly accepted the name my kids assigned to me.’Volcano bum’.


I am happy to say that I do not have this problem anymore and now go regularly. They now have other names for me.